A Letter to Me

Last week Little Miss Momma posted a letter to herself at 16. She had a lot of good things to point out to herself. I like her style and decided I should share a letter with my 16 year old self as well.

Dear 16 year old Jessa –

Remember how you have your life all planned out? And how you know everything? Remember how people give you advice about your future and you brush it off because you're smart and have it all figured out?

What is that old saying? “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” While I can't speak for Him, but I know that I'm definitely laughing at you and your plans...hysterically.

Remember how you planned that you wouldn’t dream of getting married before you had a Bachelor’s Degree? That’s a scream. Or the one that said you would never get married before you turned 25? Hilarious!

I know you don't like to be told what to do or have people make assessments about your future plans. Well I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you: you're an idiot. I say that with love though. You're a lovable, clueless idiot. In no way, does your life go according to plan. But trust me when I tell you that this is a very good thing.

I hate to tell you this but, life throws you some major curve balls. The kind of curve balls that are still hard to talk about even though things worked out. I can only give you two useful tips about that time:

1. People are going to say stupid things to you. It’s not because they’re just morons, but because they don’t know what to say, and instead of saying nothing, they say the first thing that pops into their head. They’ll truly believe that what they’re saying will help. Try hard not to stare them down or roll your eyes. They really don't know any better.
2. Hold onto faith and belief. It will be really, really hard because you can’t always understand “why.” But I promise if you just hold on, you can make it through. You’re not alone, and you never feel alone but you must hang onto your faith that things will get better and the pain will subside.

Hug Dad. A lot. Call him twice a day and tell him you love him. Ask him to tell you more about him and his childhood. Remind him that you appreciate all he does and thank him for being a great Dad. I know he hates it but take video of Dad talking and laughing and being Dad. Make him do it. Also – ask him to teach you more Italian!

Take AP classes!! I know that you have zero ambition to work hard your senior year, but it would have helped SOOOO much to have those credits out of the way. Also – I know you hate it with all the hate in your heart, but just take Math. Just do it and get it out of the way.

And I know when you’re 16, fat rarely sticks to you and when you work out once a week for 20 minutes, it melts right off. But just for fun – get into a regular workout routine. That metabolism of yours won’t always be so solid. Also – train your brain to believe that hamburgers are gross.

Give guys a chance. Be nice. It takes a lot of courage to ask girls out and bring up topics like determining the relationship. Also – be patient, unfortunately it takes a while for guys to realize they’re being kind of stupid. I know you don’t want to hear this, but there will be a couple that make you cry. Brush it off and look at them like stepping stones. You learned something, even if that “something” was “Don’t date him ever again.”

When you actually meet the future husband, quit being so naïve and realize he’s flirting with you. And when you do, don’t freak out because he’s one of your best friends. Embrace it. The sooner you do, life gets so much better.

I know your brothers are unbelievably, insanely annoying. But just endure it for now, I promise they grow up...a little bit. And you actually get along one day. Also, something you should just accept: your little sister will ALWAYS steal your clothes and jewelry. Even when you get married and move out. The good news is you can steal most of it back when she goes on her mission. And maybe take her good flat iron for good measure. But she'll probably start right back up when she gets home.

Stop tanning so much. You're only fighting the inevitable and putting yourself at a huge risk of skin cancer.

Smile at people more. I know you're a shy person in general, but if you smile people won't assume you're stuck up and don't want to talk to them. Be kind. Not everyone has to like you and you can't worry about the ones who can't give you a good reason why not.

The majority of High School drama is almost over. Unfortunately I can't promise you won't experience it again, there are just some people who never mentally graduate and can't sit still without causing chaos. You tend to avoid these people, but keep your eye out. They're always the ones you don't expect.

Be grateful. You're a lucky person and take it for granted. Thank Mom & Dad for everything they do because I don't think you understand exactly how much they give. Thank Mom for your retail therapy sessions together. You two have some good times and it's good to tell her how much you enjoy them.

Get into better habits. I know there are just some that come with experience but seriously - really learn to balance your checkbook. That realization that money goes faster than you think will be a lot easier on you...and Dad if you get into good habits now. (No seriously, he looked like he was about to kill you the day you learned that lesson.)

Get more invested in school. Yes you only have so much resources but really make the most out of the classes you take. Especially Italian - you won't believe how much that could have come in handy.

There's so much more to include and I'd love to tell you that it's all easy from here on out, but that's just not how life goes for most of the world.

I guess I can just sum it up with: Please try not to be stupid.

Love,

26 year old Jessa