Mean Girls...they're the worst.

Well hello again.

It's been...a while.  I've decided to try not to take this blogging thing so seriously.  There comes a time in every girl's life when she's got to set her priorities...and well...I can either blog about getting fit for the next vacation in June or I can strap in, shut up, and do it.

Also - when said girl often bites off more than she can chew by noticing she can make custom signs to go along with posts and mess around with those for an hour, blog for an hour an then make more custom fun signs for multiple hours...her night is shot.

So I'm stepping back and blogging when I feel I must blog.

Don't worry, there are more to come.  If you follow me on Instagram you know I have at least one pantry door project to finish and share with you.

But today I want to blog about a topic completely unrelated to crafts, home decor, fashion, or beauty. 

I wanna talk about:

I've been thinking about this problem for a couple months now.  You see, my 11 year old niece recently had a run in with them and I've been trying to come up with what you say to a hurt little girl that will actually help.

I've got nothing.

My first reaction was that of my husband's when I told him that his niece was in tears because of mean girls.  Which was to curse those little b****es!

My next reaction was to make a special road trip so I could personally throw an elementary school sized smack down on those little hussies.  

But then cooler heads prevailed and when you've had your fair share with mean girls, you know this will only make the problem worse.  Also...you don't want to be that Aunt who is asked not to "help."  "Aunt Jessa said they'll all end up working a stipper pole anyway..."  I don't think her Mom would appreciate that sentiment. 

First off I need to tell you, my niece...is adorable.  And I'm not just being biased.  She's just cute, she's a pretty girl who is extremely smart for her age.  She excels in basketball, she has a sweet, gentle personality and is an old soul.  If you met her, after ten minutes even you would say, "Who would talk smack on this girl?!"  

But if you know mean girls, like I know mean girls, it doesn't matter.  Sometimes if you have your stuff together that could even make you target.  Because in my experience mean girls are a product of one ore more of the following:

1.  A rough home life.  

2.  Low self esteem.

3.  The product of mean girls who grew up to be mean women, who in turn, raise mean girls.

I could tell my niece, "You know, they're probably just saying those things because they feel bad about themselves and they need to bring people down to their level in order to feel better about their situation."  And I could be right on the money.  But that doesn't make an 11 year old feel better.  It doesn't help her situation.  It doesn't make it stop.  Insight doesn't resolve this particular problem.  

I could tell her "Sometimes you have to learn which friends are your true friends and which friends you need to distance yourself from.  You still need to be civil and respectful of them, but you probably shouldn't hang out with them anymore."  That doesn't help an 11 year old either...especially if the mean girls in question are the "Queen Bees."  In a small classroom of 20-30 students, assuming half of them are girls, you don't have a lot of options when it comes to true friends.  Often people choose the path of least resistance...which in this case is usually just to follow the Queen Bee, because she is mean to those who don't.  So where are your real friends then?

I could tell her of my experiences with the mean girls I went to school with, let her know that it gets better after high school and that those mean girls usually just peak in high school anyway.  Then go on to be divorced twice by the age of 23 or work at the local strip club.

But that's not helpful because sometimes mean girls continue on and become mean women.  They rule their lives and control their surroundings by their ability to threaten and talk down to others.  These women are usually the ones who breed more mean girls.  And the kicker is sometimes these women go on to lead successful lives.  Which is the epitome of unfair...but then again...that's life.  

There's nothing!  And I just keep thinking about these girls...how do you stop this behavior?  You can make every effort not to raise one, to set examples, to turn the other proverbial cheek.  But you can't really protect from the example of other people and their choices on parenting, and other people's home lives, because you never really know what struggles other people are going through, do you?  

The best I've got is to give her a hug, tell her I'm sorry and that she shouldn't believe a word those girls say, because it isn't true.  She's a wonderful person and sometimes people say mean things...and she should do her best to forget it and try to be the bigger person, no matter how hard it may be.

Which, to an 11 year old, might make her feel better for a moment but she still has to deal with these girls daily.  And will for the next 7 years.  And yes, it is character-building and a rite of passage to deal with a-holes of all shapes and sizes, that's just the human condition.  But to what extent? 

I have no solutions here.  I have no answers.  I'm not saying I'm perfect and didn't learn my own lesson on talking behind your friends' back at a young age.  Cause I did.  

I'm just saying I wish I had something I could tell my 11 year old niece that will make it all better.  And I know there's nothing...and it sucks.

I'll end the tangent there, but I'd be happy to hear anyone else's solutions because it's awful to see people you love in tears.